Photo by Javad Esmaeili
“The sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip.” – Genesis 32:31 (NLT)
Jacob, later named Israel after his encounter with God, stands as one of the early Christian patriarchs. Initially known for his deceit, manipulation, and skill in fleeing, Jacob found himself in a life-altering wrestling match with God at Peniel. This encounter left him physically impaired, marked by a limp for the rest of his days.
Jacob’s physical limp was a constant reminder to him of his own brokenness and limitations. He no longer ran ahead or away from God. He learnt to fulfil God’s calling and purpose for his life, despite walking with a limp.
The Bible is replete with examples of biblical characters who also walked with their own “limps”.
Having had the privilege to mentor and journey with fellow Christian leaders, I can share from my experience that our public personas may sometimes hide our private challenges that few know about. It is common for followers to put leaders on a pedestal, as they assume that leaders have it all together, all the time. Few of us dare to ask our leaders the hard and honest questions of how they are doing. Leaders may not share or find it hard to share their struggles as they fear their vulnerability may stumble those they lead.
Many leaders today also lead with a metaphorical limp, which often drains their strength and even diminishes their effectiveness. These "limps” may be in the form of:
Heart wounds. Leaders may face criticism and experience conflicts in their leadership journey. These unresolved issues can incapacitate leaders as they struggle against negative emotions and pain. Relational conflicts are often emotionally draining when friendships strain and drift apart from what they once were. Such tensions may even cause sleepless nights.
Discouragement. Prolonged lack of fruit in ministry can be a source of discouragement. When the hard work and time spent on the flock and ministry do not yield the anticipated growth, a leader’s disappointment with people and with God can cause him to grow weary and to lose heart. Coupled with insensitive comments from your discouraged teammates, they affect the leader’s morale, resulting in a loss of direction and a depletion of motivation and energy.
Personal issues. Family challenges—with the spouse, children, or parents—can take an emotional toll. This is an area where Satan often takes aim at Christian leaders. A leader in such a situation may feel hypocritical when they are not able to manage their household affairs well (1 Timothy 3:4). Sometimes the lack of spousal support and understanding of ministry demands can cause marital tensions and drift in the marriage. It is always difficult to talk about such private issues with others, and the leader may end up feeling isolated and emotionally drained.
Organisational issues. When leaders do not feel accepted and empowered to lead and spend time fighting internal battles, they wonder if their contribution is valued. Differences in ministry philosophy with senior leaders and clashes in personality and management styles can affect a leader’s confidence to lead the organisation forward. Eventually, they may even question their calling and decision to work in the organisation.
Fellow leaders, if you are leading with a limp today, may you be encouraged to know that that you are not alone. Here are some things we can do:
Leading with a limp is embracing our brokenness and struggles in this fallen world as we stay faithful to the call of leadership. We lead with an awareness of our weaknesses and limitations, and just as Jacob leaned on the staff and worshipped God (Hebrews 11:21), let us lean on the sufficiency of His grace as we lead others, for His power is perfected in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
People look for real and authentic leaders whom they can identify with, not super leaders who have it all together. Our limps enable us to connect and empathise with those who are also limping.
Leaning on His Grace,
Lam Kok Hiang
Leadership Mentor
This article first appeared in IMPACT Magazine, February/March 2024 edition. It has been edited for length and conciseness.
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