“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief.” – Proverbs 14:13 (NIV)
Grief is a natural way of processing and responding to loss. In the different stages of our lives, developments and transitions can cause us to experience a sense of loss and lead to grief. We can experience loss in different ways, including:
Loss of family.
The passing of a loved one leaves a gaping hole in our hearts that can never be replaced. Broken familial relationships are also a source of heartache and pain. Some parents grieve when their children get married or migrate because they miss their presence at home, and home is never the same again.
Loss of friendship.
We lose friends when our paths diverge over time or sometimes due to misunderstandings. Estranged relationships create a sense of loss that we carry with us in our hearts.
Loss of familiarity.
Life and career transitions are inevitable, and they jolt us from the familiar to uncertainty. The loss of a familiar environment, working relationships and people can affect our identity. This can especially happen when we are transiting into a new job or role. It is even more difficult when the loss is unexpected.
Loss of freedom.
When our health or age pose physical and mobility challenges to our bodies and prevents us from doing the things we used to, the lack of control over the situation can significantly dampen our spirits.
In grieving over my leadership transition and the passing of my elderly dad in the past two years, I have discovered that grief is not just about feeling sad and withdrawing from people, but also about learning to connect with our deepest longings and pain. Let me share what I have found helpful in my personal journey of grieving.
Pour out your grief to God, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).
He knows what we are going through. “Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” – Psalm 31:9
Acknowledge the loss and the need to grieve.
Talk to a loved one or trusted friend, or seek help from a grief counsellor. In some instances, our grieving begins before the actual loss. It is good to remember that God has placed loved ones in our lives to care, and show His love and comfort for us in our times of struggle and sorrow.
Closures help in the grieving process.
Seek the necessary closure when you know the loss is inevitable. For instance, those of us with aging parents can spend more time with them and tell them how much we appreciate them. Post event closures are also important, to enable us to move on.
Treasure the present.
Cherish the precious relationships that God has given us. Enjoy life’s special moments and create lasting memories while we can. Knowing that we have done our best, with no regrets of “I should have…” also helps us in the grieving process.
As we navigate life’s transitions and losses, may we learn to grieve well in the different seasons of life.
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