Photo by Suda Guan
My wife, Sharon, and I meet up with different couples regularly for mentoring and mutual encouragement. Over the past year, we have had the privilege of journeying with three couples who were in a difficult season of their marriage and ministry. To be clear, there was no moral failure or compromise in integrity in any of the above cases, but that did not diminish their emotional distress. There was simply no joy in their inner spirit.
One couple’s marriage hit a rough patch due to mismatched expectations, where good intentions went unappreciated. The other two couples were disappointed and hurt by the organisation they were serving with in leadership positions, and that had affected their respective marital relationships. Through divine orchestration and the Holy Spirit’s prompting, Sharon and I decided to journey with these couples to help them find strength and hope for the days to come.
We listened to their stories, validated how they felt in those trying circumstances, asked probing questions, and helped them reframe their perspectives. In journeying with them, we witnessed peace and joy returning to these couples. With our support and encouragement, they have found renewed energy and purpose to strengthen their marriages.
Many husbands and wives have friends of their own gender, but few have close couple friends. Yet, having couple friends who provide a safe space for counsel and support can help diffuse tension in a difficult relationship and facilitate tough conversations to address underlying marital issues. Some of us may need marriage mentors whom we can go to for guidance and direction, while others may possess the wisdom and experience to mentor younger couples. Regardless, all of us need couple friends with whom we can grow and mature.
Marriage need not be a lonely journey, but a satisfying one. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17, NLT. May we become better versions of ourselves as we walk with one another through different seasons of our marriage life.
Blessings,
Lam Kok Hiang
Leadership Mentor
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