My mum and I had a very close relationship. During the year when my mum fought against cancer, I was beside her everyday, 24/7. I lost my mum to cancer on the day that my firstborn turned 4-month-old. My life had never been the same since she passed on. I could not grieve properly as the main caregiver for my firstborn. Since my mum’s passing, I had become quiet, withdrawn, and emotional. I had lived in this darkness for the past 15 years, not knowing that this grief was ‘eating’ me up. My health was affected. About a year ago, I started having chest pain (like a heart attack). I actually thought I was dying although I kept it to myself. One night, I couldn’t sleep and felt a deep darkness casting over my head. Then I started having sucidal thoughts. But at that instant, my child (3 years old) suddenly gave out a loud shriek. The darkness vanished immediately. I quickly attended to my child. But when I turned to her, she was sleeping soundly. Nonetheless, my daughter’s loud shriek saved me. I believed that God had used her to save me.
Since then, I knew I must stop withdrawing myself from my social circle. A friend who is an elderly lady brought me to meet her husband who is a retired pastor. He encouraged me to let go of my deceased mom. I hesitated… but he pressed on. And finally, I made the decision to let go.
The chest pains I had could be due to the years of emotional turmoil from grieving over my mum’s passing but I thought it would also be good for me to go for a mammogram to find out the cause. To my horror, the mammogram results showed a breast lump. I was scheduled for biopsy, surgery and a battery of tests to check on the lump. My doctor suspected that a high probability of papillary cancer – a rare cancer. I was devastated, lost, and frustrated. Negative thoughts flowed into my mind.
During this period of difficult time, God rallied many Christian friends around me. Friends whom I hardly contacted started texting me. My name came to their thoughts but they don’t know why. They spurred me on. God had sent these friends to journey together with me through the difficult moments.
The concluding medical report came after 3 months. The doctor was amazed that the cancer cells in the lump were gone and found it hard to explain medically. It was a miracle.
God has once again saved me miraculously. God makes a way for me when there seems to be no way. He shows me His love and care by sending Christians to journey with me.
No longer able to explain all these as a non-believer, I finally accepted Jesus as my savior about a year ago. God transformed my life. He had turned my grieving into hope and my chest pain was healed. I find peace by calling out to God. He directs me and set me free to live an abundant life according to His ways.
Psalm 118:5
Out of my distress, I call on the Lord. The Lord answered me and set me free.
- Story of Charlene, a mom of 4
Unable to come to terms with her mum's death and then struck with a high possibility of having a rare cancer, Charlene was helpless. But God wasn't. He sent various Christians to help Charlene and journey with her in her difficult times. God loves and cares for Charlene, and He also loves and cares for you, regardless of what you are going through. God is real... and He is here for you.
©1972-2024 Cru Singapore. All Rights Reserved.
