Faith in the Firefight: Jeff Struecker’s Black Hawk Down Story

Jeff Struecker: 

 I was stationed with the Army's 75th Ranger Regiment for many, many years – an elite special operations unit. And my unit and a couple of others were thrown together at the last minute and sent to Somalia to go capture a warlord. And the seventh and final mission is the events of Black Hawk Down. And in the course of the first 10 or 15 minutes I went through – to this day – the most intense enemy gunfire I've ever experienced in my life.

In the matter of a city block or so, one of the guys who was sitting right behind me was shot in the head and killed instantly. Several of the men that were on my vehicles were wounded. And within a matter of minutes of arriving back at the base, my commander was telling me, Jeff, you need to get your men back on your vehicles and drive back out into those city streets and see if there's anybody alive at the Durant crash site.

And to this day, standing at the back of that Humvee getting ready to go back out in the city streets is without question the most terrifying thing I've ever done in my life. And I was really grappling with not going back out there. I was absolutely certain if I drive back through what we just went through, all of us are gonna get killed.

And then, at the same time, my wife and I had been married for a few years and we had been trying for a couple of years to have a child, and I got a letter in the mail just a few weeks before this saying that she was pregnant with our first child. And so I was thinking, I'm never gonna see my family again. My child is gonna grow up and never have an idea of who his father is.

And deep inside of me, everything was saying, Jeff, this is crazy. Don't do this. But as a Ranger, I knew that I would totally be letting down my men. I'd be letting down the guys that are in the city streets who are fighting for their lives.

So at the back of that Humvee, I started to pray and I didn't stop what I was doing. Didn't close my eyes, didn't bow my knees, just kept washing the blood off of the back of the Humvees. And praying, God, I am in big trouble and I know I'm gonna die in the next few minutes and I need your help. And then at the back of that Humvee, you know, I had been reading my Bible daily and a few days before this I'd been reading the story from Matthew about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

And standing at the back of the Humvee, I was starting to think about this whole scene. In fact, the scene was playing out in my mind while I was cleaning up the back of this Humvee. And I started to think Jesus knew exactly what he was gonna go through, and Jesus understood the pain and the suffering and the shame that he was about to endure before it ever happened.

And I was thinking about going back out into the city streets, thinking I know what's gonna happen to me and I'm not gonna survive if I do this. And then I started to think about the words of Jesus' prayer and it started to dawn on me. When he said, father, if there's any way possible, let this cup pass from me, he was essentially saying, God, I really don't want to do what I know I have to do. And at the back of that Humvee, I started to pray the same prayer. Jesus, if there is any way possible, let this cup pass from me. I don't want to go back out in those city streets. And then it was almost like I could hear him saying those words in my own ears when he said next, not my will, but your will be done.

And I prayed, God, not my will, but your will be done. Whatever you want to happen to me next, I totally trusted in your hand. And at that point, I think I finally started to realize the eternal significance that a faith in Jesus Christ makes. I knew it all along, but it made all of the difference for me as a warrior in Somalia.

'Cause at that point I started to realize my life is in God's hands. I don't control what happens to me next. God does. I do the absolute best I can and I trust the results in his hands. But really what made a profound difference for me.

If I don't survive, my eternity has been settled 2000 years ago at the cross. I know I'm gonna spend eternity in heaven. And really it came so it became so clear to me, go home to be with my family in the United States, or go home to be with my father in heaven. It doesn't really matter. No matter what happens next, because of my Christian faith, I cannot lose. It's a no lose situation.

I think at that moment I started to have total peace about what was gonna happen next. For the entire rest of that night, I was still totally convinced that I was gonna die, but from the moment that I finally realized my eternity is settled, there's nothing I could do but trusted in God's hands. 

From that moment on, I was at total peace with the idea that I'm gonna die in the next few minutes, but I know where I'm gonna spend eternity. What became really, really clear to me, and it was almost immediately after God gave me this supernatural sense of peace, when I'm talking to audiences, I tell 'em, I was thinking, I've tried to share my faith with my friends. They know that I'm a Christian. They know that Jesus Christ is the center of my life, but I've really not been as urgent as I should have been with them. And before I drove back out into the city streets, the second time in Mogadishu, I started to pray, God, give me one more chance to talk to these men about Jesus.

It's in your hands what they do with it after that, but give me one more chance to at least explain what I believe and explain what Jesus has done for them on the cross. And then I got back on those Humvees and drove back out into the city streets. Again and again and again.

I spent the next 18 hours out there and stayed there until nine o'clock the next morning, and we were being shot at all night long. I was, my men were being wounded all night long. Guys were dying around me to my left and to my right all night long. But for me, the most pivotal events of Mogadishu were not that firefight. It was the day after the firefight was over with.

I had almost immediately, as soon as I returned to my base the next morning, I had men walking up to me, waiting to talk to me. And they were saying stuff like, “Jeff, I gotta talk to you about Jesus. I need to talk to you about your faith. I could hear over the radio – when I heard your voice over the radio – I could hear something different in your voice than everybody else who was talking on the radio.” They were saying stuff like, “Jeff, you clearly demonstrated last night that you have something that I don't have. And I want to know what it is.”

And I had men waiting to talk to me almost for the next 24 hours, shaking me to wake me up in the middle of the night saying, “I need to talk to you right now about your faith in Jesus.” And I had a chance to share my faith with a lot of men who knew that I was a Christian, who I tried to talk to about Jesus many times before this, but they didn't want to hear it – now were saying, “I gotta know right now about Jesus, Jeff, and I need to talk to you about it.”

And I think what really captured it for me was I developed this sense of urgency in Somalia. I realized, man, life is precious. It's short. And the few opportunities that I have to share my faith with somebody, I'm gonna take it as soon as I have that opportunity.

'Cause there's no promise that I'll have a chance tomorrow or next month to talk to somebody about Jesus. And just the sheer violence of Mogadishu showed me how fragile human life is. And I feel like I can look 'em in the eyes and honestly say, I know what you're going through, 'cause I've been there myself. And let me tell you the difference that Jesus Christ makes. Lemme tell you the difference going to war makes when you have Christ as the center of your life versus no faith whatsoever.

So Mogadishu, for me, was a life changing event, but it wasn't getting shot at that changed my life. It was the urgency of the gospel that I experienced the next day.