Greg and I along with our kids are road tripping home to Austin today. It's Spring Break and we drove to Orlando both to see grandparents and for US directors meetings. For a day and a half we met with a large group of staff leaders who represent ethnic diversity in Cru®. Uplifting, practical, and honoring describes the time we had together. We prayed. And we made plans. It felt good to identify some "rocks" that need to be moved and lean into some solutions.
On my own journey I noticed something recently.
Ryan's basketball coach at our predominately white middle school is African-American. He has been an outstanding coach both in improving the boys' skills, and more importantly in creating a true team while developing and building into them personally. He's been the best coach Ryan has ever had. Greg had coffee with him and found out he is a believer, is divorced, and is trying to raise a young son in joint custody. Recently he led our team to the finals in our division. After a big win I watched the parents, all of whom have immense respect for the coach, move to congratulate their sons and gather around each other. With fresh eyes I couldn't help but notice that no one approached Coach. Why? I'm not sure. But I might not have noticed it in the past. It was sad to me, and it was a privilege to speak encouraging truth into his life and invite him and his son over for dinner.
Often we don't even know why we behave or don't behave as we do. As one who is motivated to be a blessing to anyone I can, I am so encouraged to have my eyes opened wider. Lord, may you open them wider still!
The work is learning at a heart level. Something that can only be done between me and the Lord. It's where I say, "I don't understand! I'm mad." "Where have You been?" "I didn't mean to hurt!" "I feel so stupid." "What do I need to learn?" And, "Will You open up the boundaries of my heart?" "Would You stretch it bigger still? And never stop stretching." I have to wrestle, confess, and acknowledge again His omnipotence and sovereignty. Then I find a surrendered peace and I'm ready to thrust myself forward into whatever the Holy Spirit would have me do.
A common question is "What am I supposed to do?" I think what I'm supposed to do is make my heart ready for new places. And who knows the limits of what He will lead us to do!
Previous Posts
• The Wrong Question
• A Step and a Foot in the Door
• Choosing Discomfort
• Remembering Omar
• To Hear Her Call Me Friend
Charmaine Lillestrand serves with the Cru City Executive Team.
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